Who wants a Weight Watchers update? (“I do! I do!” howl the throngs of readers.)
So, last month was kind of rough. I had my birthday which turned into a birthweek of celebrating with too much food. Then after that birthweek I was feeling like a Weight Watchers failure, and we all know what cures a sense of failure, don’t we? BROWNIES. Well, at least for a few moments of chocolatey bliss. Then the guilt and bloating set in and I was getting mighty frustrated at what the scale was telling me. Basically in two weeks I undid a month’s worth of weight loss. I hate that. It’s so easy to gain but so hard to lose. Waaaaaa.
Anyways, thanks to all your kind words of encouragement and the help of my health guru brother’s watchful eye I got back on track and am happy to report that I am back where I was a month ago. I don’t know if I want to reveal actual numbers or if that’s getting too personal. If you really want to know what I’m at these days…well, the scale says 136-ish. This is a number I am happy with for the time being and and it’s getting mighty close to my original goal of losing 20 pounds which would take me down to 130. (Do the math…I started at 150, for all of you calculating women.)
I don’t want this to come across as a “yay, me!” post but I’ve had some comments and emails inquiring about my progress, so here it is. Everyday is still a challenge and I fight hourly urges to bury my face in a cinnamon bun the size of my head. Emotionally, sometimes I feel bothered by the fact that I’m one of those people who has to be so very aware of what goes into my mouth. I have never been one of those girls who can eat whatever she wants and never gain an ounce, but oh how I wish I were. I know there’s no point moaning about it but it just needs to be said sometimes. I hate that maintaining a healthy weight is a struggle for me.
As the summer evaporates and fall draws near I find myself missing looking forward to homemade buns slathered with butter, thick stews, and apple crisp with ice cream for dessert. I used to always be trying a new cookie or brownie recipe and now I can’t trust myself to keep such delights in the house. It sounds silly, but I miss the presence of such foods. They were more than food to me (which is probably where a lot of my problems lie), they were a source of comfort and they were associated with so many good memories. Grey, rainy days were perfect for baking chocolate chip cookies; when winter hit it was time to break out the holiday recipes; going on a date with Steve meant pasta with cream sauce, italian bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar; chatting with a girlfriend while sitting on the couch meant hot chocolate and brownies.
Now it’s all about chicken breasts, brown rice, salad greens and fat free frozen yogurt. Not quite as thrilling.
So this is where I’m at today. Happy with my progress but still sometimes missing the food that keeps me from it.
23 Comments
You just made me very hungry. Congrats on making it that far! Someday soon I have to crack down and start doing something similar so that I can wear my pre-baby clothes in the near future!
I know exactly what you mean. I started at 220 pounds 18 months ago and I have been hovering around 170 for the past, ooh, 3 months – keep gaining and losing the same 3 pounds. It’s just a bit demoralising to know that I will always ALWAYS have to think about what I eat. If I forget to think, it just sneaks back on again. So congratulations on getting where you’ve got and good luck in staying there!
I am inspired by you because I’ve been trying WW and HATING it. My willpower is definitely not as strong as yours. Keep it up…you look fantastic!
I couldn’t have said it better myself Amanda. You can do it though, one meal at a time.
good for you ~ that’s fantastic!
I know! I hate to have to watch what I eat too. In fact, I’m not very good at it. I’ve never tried WW or any other diet, but that may be what I need to do.
Keep up the good work. And give yourself some of your favorite foods- isn’t that what flex points are for???
makes me wish I’d been doing it with you as strictly as you’ve been. I’ve still got about 10-15 to get to that blissful 130 mark. I’m actually considering signing up online.
sigh.
The battle of the bulge. It IS a battle. One that will be fought forevermore.
Thanks for the update. I was one that wanted to know. I wonder if it’s possible to have both, a healthy weight and good food to accompany good times? I’m not sure. I’m like you… I don’t maintain weight well. I am always going up or coming down and I just want to get to a weight, stay at a weight, and not obsess about that weight. It seems like quite the impossibility, but at least with people out there going through something similr, it doesn’t seem quite so horrifying of a journey.
Thanks.
Congrats! I am starting this weekend…Good to know it works, even if it is a little disheartening…
I am the same way with food. you just made me so hungry!
I know exactly how you feel… I too started at 150 on WW, and now am at the 136 mark! Were like twins! Cool! Keep it up and will be 130 in no time! Don’t worry about cheating every now again! We have to!
WOW! That’s great progress!
You’re almost to your goal… :)
I am so proud of you. But you knew that already :)
It is neat to hear how close you are and that you’ve made it there despite feeling like you’ve failed a few times. It’s so cool to see you go after what you want and to hear you pat yourself on your back for it, (you definitely deserve a few yay me posts!). Good luck with the last few pounds and maybe, just maybe after that it will feel like a lifestyle and you wont have to think as hard about it. I know I’ll never be able to give up making chocolate chip cookies on rainy days, but I will be able to only eat one or two each day, not because I’m super great but because I have a closet full of sweaters that demand it! Good luck with those last pesky pounds!
I don’t know. I think it’s great that you’re pursuing a healthy lifestyle – brown rice instead of white, more veg, etc. But I’m not entirely convinced it has to be so boring (from how you describe it, anyway). To lose weight (from 189 to 160, since we’re being personal, and I’m 5’8″ so I dunno) I just investigated ways of preparing the food I like in a way that is healthier. So pasta gets a cream sauce made with evaporated milk (very tasty) and cookies are made with a minimum of fat (to still be moist) AND tasty. Okay, eating the whole batch still isn’t great for you. Food should be a source of enjoyment, it’s so social and, well, visceral. I don’t have to tell you that, obviously! We should discuss this in earnest sometime – over brownies.
I recommend all of the books by Anne Lindsay, Canadian home economist extraordinaire. Cooking almost exclusively from them I lost and maintained this weight for five years now. Another awesome one I’ve used a great deal is “One Smart Cookie” by Julie somethingorother. It has all of the traditional cookie/dessert recipes with much less fat. I’m sorry I kind of rambled on there. It’s just that since I’ve started reading your blog I love hearing how you embrace life and you just seem so happy. When you’re talking about the WW stuff, I worry that you don’t sound quite so happy. Really rich coming from a complete stranger on the internet, right? I’ll stop pestering you now.
You are doing sooo good and you look wonderful. Go you!! And itsgreat to pat yourself on the back! You deserve it. I so totally identify with you on the comfort food thing.
Unforunately, that is what got me in trouble in the first place too. WE should never eat to fill those spaces cause it does it temporarily, but then we feel worse. It is just so hard when it is so much harder to lose it than to gain it.
Anyway, I’m glad you are doing well. You look great, so keep it up, hard as it may be. (as I sit here 10 pounds over my lowest weight….eating CRAP. ho hum…)
Dana
Food is comfortable and lovely and I wouldn’t want it any other way. When it’s time for a special meal I enjoy it so much more than if I didn’t obsess about steak and ale pie or bangers and mash (I’m a meat and potato fantasizer).
I’m blessed (cursed) with a hubby who’s always aware of how we’re eating and has really reined in my “treats” – which helps me keep on track food-wise. I always walk into the kitchen and think “what can I eat” and realize that there’s nothing yummy in the house. 9 times out of 10, I pout and then go back to whatever I was doing.
P.S. Half of the women I know who say they can eat anything they want have chubby thighs & knees. Small frames and small bones but see them in a skirt and it’s a dead give-away.
I so feel you girl. Good for you and your discipline. I know it’s not easy, but you’re doing great.
Oh girl, that is awesome. I am totally with you, I will never ever, ever, ever, EVER, know the freedom of eating whatever I want. My husband is 6’6″ and he can eat from sun up to sun down and never gain an ounce. He is the WORST to be around. Case in point, last night at 10:00pm….he puts a WHOLE bag of crisper fries in the oven and brings them out while we are playing cards. FRIES…at 10 at night when you are hungry again…FRIES…crispy, salty, oily friess. I look down at my fat, white cheesy legs flattened out on the wooden chair and shove another fry in my mouth. It is just pathetic. Wish I lived closer…we can call each other “fatty” and keep each other accountable. (Not that you are a fatty!) You weigh 15lbs less than me and I am way shorter than you!!!!!! Anyway, all to say, you look incredible and I admire your will power even though it doesn’t feel like you have it all the time. Very cool of your bro to jump start you in the right direction again. Okay, I owe you an email and this comment is becoming a novel.
I agree with Mrs. Wilson…you just made me really hungry (I, too, love Italian bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic!). I love hearing about your progress so please don’t ever think it’s a “Yay, me!” post. Congrats to you on your success :)
Congrats! That is so awesome that you are on track!
You should be so proud of yourself, Amanada. I have been trying to loose weight for years and have always found it difficult. You are an inspiration to us all. Miss ya, but see ys soon.
Congrats on your progress!!
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