While the nipple shield has continued to yield success I have been growing fonder of my breast pump with each passing day. I enjoy expressing milk because I can rest assured that my breasts are getting fully drained, I am maintaining my supply, and I’m able to freeze extra milk and keep it on hand. The best part of pumping, however, is the satisfaction of knowing how much milk Avelyn is getting. When the milk is in a bottle I can tell if she’s had four ounces or two ounces and I can better understand her needs as a result. If she’s having an extra long nap I know whether I need to wake her from it or not based on how full her tummy was when she fell asleep. It takes away so much of the guess work and I think that’s great.
Avelyn is also a bit of a lazy nurser. She’ll latch onto the boob for five minutes or so, hungrily gulping back the good stuff, then fall into a milk-induced coma that I can’t rouse her from. I’ll try to get her to latch onto the other breast but she’s just too konked out to even consider it. So I let her sleep. She’ll doze for 20 minutes then wake up starving since her little snack didn’t fill her up. Then the cycle continues and I am left feeling like a human pacifier who needn’t put a shirt on since her mammaries are out, dangling freely, all day long. Avelyn is much more focused while at the bottle as she’s able to get what she needs that much quicker and it saves us both a lot of tears.
Another perk of pumping is that I’ve been able to have the odd break now and again and leave Avelyn with her daddy while I snag a quick coffee break with the girlfriends. The other night I came home after being away for an hour and found Steve toting Avelyn around the orchard in the baby sling. It was so adorable. I think it’s good for him to have quality time with her now, so he realizes just how important his role as a father is. A lot of men feel useless with a newborn since they think only the mother is capable of meeting all of the baby’s needs, but I am glad Steve doesn’t feel that way.
I still kind of feel as though the decision to give Avelyn some of her breastmilk via a bottle is one that I need to defend. I want to get some stickers made up to plaster on the sides of all my bottles that read: "This is from the boob. I am not the devil."
But why do I feel that way? I know I am doing what’s best for her, and for me, just perhaps not in the most conventional way. I am OK with that. And the people who know and love me and Avelyn are OK with that.
And that’s all that matters.
12 Comments
You pump it, sista!!
You do what you feel is right for you and your baby. End of story. If pumping works for you- then pump away!
A mom always knows what is best for her baby. You are giving her your milk and if it works better this way then that is great. Plus there is nothing wrong with having an hour here or there to yourself and letting dad take over.
My mom babysat Adora for my first date away with Matt. She had a visit with the neighbour who warmed up the bottle, splashed it on her wrist, licked it and said “Wow. That formula is way better than when I had my baby.”
It wasn’t formula.
Amanda, it’s so good to hear how happy you and Steve are. I’d love to see pictures of the orchard baby. That sounds priceless – a memory to last a lifetime.
Just catching up a little, Avelyn is adorable! I can’t wait to read about life with her everyday. So glad I can enjoy this journey with you from a distance!
I totally understand what you’re saying…your endless pacififier feeling and your feeling like you need to defend your decision. I had lazy eaters too, but couldn’t get enough out with my pump. Do what you need to! You don’t want to be bitter.
If you know what’s best for you and Avelyn, never allow yourself to feel judged. As for me, I think you’re a great mommy. Your parenting stlye and ideas are much like my own.
PUMP IT!
You have nothing to defend – you are a great Mommy, and you have found what works for the 3 of you!
Nothing wrong with pumping, or doing anything that works for that matter. It sounds like you are having a great time being a mommy, congrats again!
If it wasn’t for the breast pump, my baby wouldn’t have gotten ANY of my milk, as I couldn’t produce more than an ounce or two a day. Congrats on finding something that works for you and don’t defend it.
I linked to your blog through Shelley’s blog, and I think this stuff is hilarious! I cringe at the thought of birthing children, but think kids are great. So you’re a hero to me… feed your kid whatever you like (within reason). Society is always trying to find a way to put women down… formula is fine!
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