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The Sprouts, They Scare Me

It’s been a while since I opened the lazy susan which houses my potatoes. Now that it’s spring I’ve been cooking more with lighter vegetables and it’s been a few months since I made mashed taters. I’m hosting the family Easter meal this year and thought that scalloped potatoes would go nicely with the ham we’re having, so I checked on my potato supply.
And screamed when I saw what was lurking in my cupboard.
I HATE potato sprouts. There is something very disturbing about them and I hate how they are thick and spiney and smelly and firm and how the potato itself gets all shrivelly as the sprout steals its vigor from the dying apple of the earth.


I think my dislike of potato sprouts stems from a childhood memory. When my mom took the occasional nursing shift we would get babysat at the home of a girl my age named Karen Bonk. Karen was kind of mean. One day she called me down to the cellar and told me she had something to show me. I entered the room and she hucked a big sprouty potato at me.
I HATE THE SPROUTS.

Normal people don’t let their potatoes get this sprouty, do they?
Here are a few more of the treasures I found.

I threw them all away.

11 Comments

  • LOL! Nope. That’s definitely not a regular occurance around here. :)

  • Those are some disgusting marsh creatures you have there. You should have kept one for a pet.

  • Oh my goodness, you make me laugh so hard!
    About potatoes, yes that happens in my cupboard often. I like the idea of cooking potatoes (so easy and yummy, butter and salt,mmmmm), but since I very seldom cook, well, those potatoes start to sprout eventually.

  • Grooossss… Those are pretty sick. I’ll agree with you there. I think you might be able to make a world record or two with that top sprout!

  • ew, that has so happened to me. I think they’re grody gross.. wait, is that redundant? Still yuck.

  • Uhg…that gives me the heebie jeebies. I dont know why I’m so scared of them either….even a potato with a tiny budding sprout creeps me out. maybe it’s the fact that your cupboards arent supposed to be friendly grounds for things to GROW!

    Ha, I think you’ve definately set a record though!

  • SICK! But pretty funny. What ELSE is lurking in that lazy susan???

  • I, too, seem to forget about extra potatoes that may be lurking in my kitchen and eventually find the mutant sprouts conceiving a plan to take over the house with their new limbs. Its gross. This is the first time I’ve visited your blog (found it on Dooce) and I thought of all the random blogs to go to, I pick yours, because your dog’s name is Rolo, and my husbands name is Rolo (short for Rolando), I find that amuzing.

  • hey! i remember karen bonk…and she definitely had a mean side to her. your story is still kinda funny though.

  • YIKES!!! I’m not a huge fan of potatoes, when I make them I usually have bought them that day, so they don’t get all scary!!!
    But scalloped potatoes sounds so yummy right now….can I come over? j/k! We are having a BIG huge feast at my Grandparents for Easter, it will be great, although cause we are part Ukranian (I can’t even spell it) we have perogies along with all the other good. Have a great week end feeding the growing Baby!

  • Okay I have to be honest. I have had the ugly sprouts growing on my taters too. Jordan can witness to this fact. Oooh. I’m kinda scared right along with you. Maybe Jordan has never seen these horrible things growing in my potato bin. So now maybe he is discusted as to knowing the truth that I too have had these ugly things growing in the cupboard. He’s so lucky to have Jen. She is such a great wife to him. She will protect him from these awful growths.

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