With a very open mind I scanned the entire baby name book I had ordered, and nothing grabbed me. Nothing at all. I had a highlighter in hand and marked off any names that I even remotely could stand, but when I took a second look at them all I thought was, “Meh.”
I told Steve about this conundrum and he was less than sympathetic.
We both agree that the best case scenario would be to find a name that we both love. But that doesn’t seem to be happening, despite our efforts.
So, what to do?
If you were in this situation, how would you solve the problem? Bribery? (I tried that.) Extreme negotiation? (Tried that too….and am still not giving up.)
Help us solve this problem!
It seems silly to pick a name that neither of us really loves when we could have the most lovely, perfect name ever and MAKE ME HAPPY.
That is, in fact, what it’s all about.
Help us.
14 Comments
Try offering him a deal: if you get Anneliese, he can pick her middle name. Then, if you have another child, he gets first naming rights and you get the middle name. It worked for me… although if I have a another child, there is a good chance he will be named Barty or Norris or ? Eek. But it’s worth it, I tell you!
Hi Amanda, you don’t know me, I get to your blog through Karen’s. Anyways, since we just recently went through EXACTLY what you are I felt compelled to comment.
We had such a hard time finding a name we both liked, especially with our second boy (nice boys names are soooo hard to find). We didn’t nail down his name until the week before he was born. And it was a name that we had both seen before it just didn’t stand out until later. My advice is to let things stew, you have tons of time left. You both might find that a name that’s not so hot now, will suddenly become perfect later on. It happened to us.
Good luck, may you have a great pregnancy, and a quick and easy labour and delivery.
Hey Amanda!
It’s Angella’s sis! You’ve probably already checked it out, but babynames.com is a really good website for unique names. They have tons from all over the world on there. Check it out!
you’ll love the baby regardless of the name so compromise, maybe flip a coin even.
You know I love you, Amanda, but you really need to stop badgering your poor husband about this. If you eventually got your way, wouldn’t you feel bad to know that deep down Steve doesn’t like it, not to mention that he’ll harbor some resentment about having been bullied and manipulated? I know how badly you want to win this one, but is it worth winning at the expense of your dear hubby’s feelings? I should think not. Remember, it’s his baby too.
I totally agree with Steve about Anneliese. While it’s a pretty name, nobody will know how to spell it or pronounce it and it will prove frustrating for her her whole life. Speaking from experience, I was so happy to go from the last name “Ryll” to the last name “Robinson” after having my last name butchered for 30 years, but in your baby’s case, she’ll go her whole life with her first name no matter who she marries, and it should be a name both of you love and not a compromise. Plus, time is on your side, the name doesn’t have to be chosen tomorrow :)
Travis and I found that waiting it out helped a bit. But, if Ben had been a girl, he, oops, she would have been nameless for a LONG time because we could NOT agree. That’s the problem being married to a teacher who’s had lots of bad kids — their names are ruined! Sarah’s name was a compromise because I loved the ‘granny’ names, and he liked the ’70’s’ names. And Ben’s name we both loved when we were dating!
So I guess I’m not that much help, but maybe just leave it for a while, there’s still lots of time, and revisit the situation in June.
I would really try to find a name you both like. It’s so hard to find one that you can both agree on if you have your heart set on one though, so I see where your trouble pops up. Maybe give the baby name thing a break for a month and then go back with a fresh and open mind. There has to be atleast ONE name out there that you both really like. Try to figure out what you like about Annelise so much and try to find that quality in another name. On the other hand, since Steve is rooting for “Natasha” maybe he shouldn’t be given a say in this decision at all. ;)
The debate eh? I’m with Karen on the part where so many names are ruined for me because of students. Then, Justin is a teacher, too… we’re reallyhooped! Anyhow, we debated and debated over middle names for a long long time, then just left it for a looong time and then it just came to us. My advice (though perhaps unwarranted) leave it for a bit and see what happens when you get closer to birthday…. it’ll come (the birthday and the perfect name).
Hi Amanda=)
My name is Tanneal and I linked to your blog through Amanda F.
Anyhoo, just thought I would put my 2 cents in on your baby name crisis. I don’t know about you, but in my experience I’ve never met a mom who has said they don’t like what they ended up naming their kid. I’ve never heard a mom say “I wish I had named my child _________ instead of what we did name her/him.” Somehow (by God/miracle/coincidence) the name just ends up ‘fitting’.
I am one of those that had their name spelled wrong ALL my life (both first and last, before and after I got married)…but I LOVE MY NAME! It’s cool and it’s me, so I wouldn’t rule out Anneliese for the ‘hard to spell’ reason.
I guess I am lucky cause my hubby pretty much goes along with the names I like (well, within reason that is). We named our son Gideon and he is just that…Gideon, it suits him perfectly. It’s who he is.
Hope this helps, if even a little=)
Tanneal Haazen
My fav baby name sites…
http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html
http://www.babynamesworld.com/
Well, you seem to have been given a lot of good advice. Just wait on it…and pick one that you both agree on. It will be worth it in the end :)
Wow.
Baby names is a popular subject.
Matt and I couldn’t agree either. We bought a book, started at the beginning and began reading each one. We wrote down every name that we both liked, and went with the very first one – Adora.
My sister’s name was picked in the same fashion by my parents – Amber.
If you don’t like A names you could start at K or something.
Good Luck!
Wow lots of advice. I don’t really know what to add, but how do you feel about Annelise being the middle name, or does it need to be the first?
I agree here. I wouldnt let anyone know the name right now. My hubby hated every name I loved until I came to our G’s name which sorry I dont write on the internet but he finally said. Hey thats sounds ok and I was like fine ok thats it. So thats awesome you have said you guys finally agreed on something. I just started reading here and I wanted to say congrats!
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