Pregnancy

So…

Yep, still pregnant.

Are you guys getting as bored of this as I am? 

I feel badly for keeping you all in such suspense then failing to deliver the conclusion you’re waiting for.  But really, if I could change things, you know I would.  Yesterday I got to hold the teeniest little baby at the beach and I so longed to have it be my own child in my arms instead of someone else’s.  I went to church and fielded about 789 comments about how I’m still pregnant, how all I need to do is be patient, how the baby will come when she’s ready, how so-and-so was five years overdue with her baby, and how I look like a bloated balloon (I kid you not).  I guess I should be happy that people care.  If everyone ignored me and no one asked how I was feeling I would be equally upset, I suppose. 

In other news, remember the orchard worker who drops the rankest logs in our toilet?  Well, during his last deposit he somehow smeared crap on the seat of the toilet and just left it to dry and harden.  When he inevitably dings the doorbll today to ask if he can pollute my air again, I am going to lead him to the bathroom, show him the stained seat and ask him where he learned that that was acceptable behavior. 

Then I will make him lick it clean. 

Because I was taught that the punishment ought to fit the crime. 

27 Comments

  • You should definetly have the baby today because it’s also David Hasselhoff’s birthday. The Kickyboots and the Hoff!

  • SICK about the toilet. I want to barf.

    And I’m curious as to who called you a bloated balloon? Do they still have their jugular?

    :)

  • That’s disgusting. Next time he rings the doorbell and asks to use the bathroom say “ummm… I’m really not comfortable with it. Nor am I comfortable smelling your crap wafting through my house. I am especially uncomfortable being 9.5 months pregnant and scrubbing YOUR crap off of MY toilet seat.”

    Then close the door and go eat a monster cookie.

  • I predict that next time he comes, you won’t be pregnant anymore, but 150% tired with a small babe attached to your boob. OR you will just have rocked your child to sleep and the knock will send said babe into a screaming rage… both times he will feel extremely guilty of the hardship he has caused you and your case will be won. However, I really think that your wee one will fit the first description! Peace…

  • I will be one of the millions who will tell you the baby will come when she will come—that’s because you did the very same thing!!For all you bloggers out there,Amanda was 16 days late!!I would still be pregnant if I had not been induced.So sweetie,I can fully sympathize with you-it’s the pits,but what can you do?Not a sweet thing,but wait.We will see you soon,but I hope li”l Miss Kickyboots puts in an appearance before then!

  • hmm…ok, two thoughts…

    1) Mr. field worker needs to stop taking laxatives. If i were you, i wouldn’t let him use the toilet in the house.

    2) Reach in there and pull that child out!! Doesn’t she realize the anticipation is driving us all to the brink of insanity??

  • You need to get a little ugly port-a-potty installed outside with a measly little curtain around it. Tell him he’s got to stop eating all the fruit.

  • Perhaps you could call 1-800-4QUEERS and get that guy some etiquette training from the fab four! Good luck with the patience, althouh it doesn’t make it better I know EXACTLY how you feel.

  • Your life cleaning other peoples’ poo just started before the baby arrived, that’s all.

    p.s. I just got an in utero email from KB and she says she’s not coming out. Not now. Not never. I’m sorry.

  • She says that she won’t come out because it smells like some guy just made a mess in the bathroom. You can now blame Sir. Stinks-A-Lot for the KD delay.

  • I think we should just blame sir stinks-a-lot for all the world’s problems. I mean, let’s face it….if nobody had to clean up other people’s stool, this world would be a much happier place.

  • It must be so frustrating waiting to meet your tiny baby. I hope it happens soon!

    Maybe all of this orchard-man-poo is preparing you for something. Maybe you should tell him he has to change your baby’s diapers in exchange for using your toilet.

  • EEEEW! Did he come again today? I am also looking forward to hearing about your daughter’s arrival. I have a lot invested in arrival dates right now:)

  • You’ll make a great Mom! he he he

  • I checked your blog first so I wouldn’t read about Boots on some other Summerlanders’ blog. Get on with it will ya. Just buggin. Adora was late so I understand your agony. Do you have 300 relatives calling every day ‘just to see…’?

    I vote, show him the poo and ask him to clean it up. Hopefully he will be so embarassed he won’t come back.

    Hang in there!
    Danica

  • I wasn’t much into checking blogs or writting in mine very consistently but I have been on here like twice a day now waiting to hear that she is here!!!! the waiting game is driving me crazy I can’t even imagine how you are feeling!!!!!
    as for the poopy worker I vote you make him clean it up and hopefully he never comes back again!!

  • I am sure that sweet baby of yours must be waiting for me to be working. Can’t wait to meet her. I even called my mom while I was camping this w/e to check your blog for me to see if you had delivered.

  • Well, my brithday is almost over – I thought, maybe, just maybe, this darling daughter will be born today. No matter – I’m just praying for a healthy delivery and a great little girl.

    As for that pooper – ask him to please clean up after himself as surely he can see that in your “rotund” condition, you can’t get down there. Actually, I’d tell him to do his big job in the bushes. That’s what we do in the Yukon. This is getting out of control. Take charge, Amanda. Let your condition and your hormones – tell this guy off. This is not acceptable bathroom etiquette.

    Luv ya.

  • Did you guys decide on a name yet?

  • Hey everyone:

    As of approximately 5:00 am local time, KickyBoots has begun her official descension; please keep both her and Amanda in your prayers today.

  • HOORAY!!!

  • OHMYGOSH!!!!! Thinking positive thoughts! I am so happy that she is on her way!

  • Go Amanda! Go Steve! Go BABY!

  • Yay!

    Good luck, Amanda!

  • Yay!

  • My first baby was 10 days late. People would ring me up and say “have you had the baby yet?” and once or twice I answered “yes, we had the baby 2 weeks ago but just hadn’t gotten around to telling you” … that shut them up pretty quick!!! Hehehe

  • Delurking here…you just made my night! I laughed so hard when I read your post. i cannot BELIEVE the *literally* crap from that guy. Disgusting!!! Does he have no shame??? I sincerely hope the birth goes great and all is well. You guys seem like such a neat family!

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