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The Human Stain

While dining with the Dalsins last Friday night, we got to talking about our couches. Jen asked, “Are they easy to clean? Have you spilled anything on them yet?”
To which Steve replied, “Why, yes. I spilled some soy sauce on the sofa just this afternoon.”
This was news to me, and I prodded, “How did you clean it?”
“I licked it.”
Jen laughed, assuming he must be joking, but I saw the look in his eye that told me he was serious.
“You LICKED our couch? Why didn’t you just go and get a cloth? You know, like normal people do?” I cried.
Steve got defensive, “Well, I just wanted to see if the couches had actually been scotch guarded. I wanted to see if the stain would absorb. And it did.”
“So, you licked the soy sauce, but a stain still remained. And you just let it fester on MY BRAND NEW COUCHES?!”
“Yes.”
I went and grabbed a clean cloth, threw it at him, and told him that if he didn’t get that stain out, I was getting new couches.
He cleaned it.
And the stain came out.
Our marriage has been preserved.

7 Comments

  • I was sure he was kidding. I didn’t think anyone would ACTUALLY do that. I think I was right- no one would do that- EXCEPT STEVE.

  • That’s hilarious. But, I have to admit that I am a little relieved to hear that. I wouldn’t be surprised if a similar situation takes place in my house in the future. We’re working on “that’s a napkin..you use it to wipe your face. NOT your sleeve.” ALthough licking the couches…I’m not too sure about that. No wonder him and Rolo get along so well!

  • I can totally visualize the expression you would have had on your face :)

  • HAHA! That’s hilarious!
    Oh, Steve Brown….he is just TOO much sometimes.

  • Having licked many a piece of furniture clean I have to say you were too harsh on Steve, in my opinion.

  • I think it’s entrepreneurial, (did I spell that right?), just kidding. Teach that boy to use a rag!

  • That’s hilarious! I love the throwing the rag at him, and making him clean it, too funny!

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