Yesterday afternoon I was craving something sweet, so while I was out getting the mail I ducked into the local grocery store and was on the hunt for something tasty. I isolated my craving and decided I just needed some sugar. Not chocolate, not a cookie, but something like licorice or jelly beans or gummy bears. But then I started feeling bad. “Really, are gummy bears the wisest mid-afternoon snack for a pregnant woman? I should buy a banana or a head of romaine lettuce or something.”

So, I compromised.

I found some sugar free jelly beans.

The best of both worlds, right? Empty calories, just not as many of them as regular jelly beans. So, I scarfed the little bag down and was feeling quite sated.

Then the gut twisting started.

I should have looked a little more closely at the label of those jelly beans, because I think they were made with the same artificial sweetener that’s used in the dreaded crystal light slurpee. Seriously. There was some trouble down under. I had the most painful bloating and cramps and then, you know, the expulsion began. Not cool.

My discomfort lasted all night and I felt truly awful.

Never again.

And I really do mean that.