Anyone who knows me, knows that I can usually be found prancing down main street, latte in hand, leading a one-woman parade to celebrate the first day of school each fall.  This year, however, I’m feeling all tangled up inside. I’m tired, I’m hopeful, I’m relieved, I’m scared. The kids have all set foot back in their schools for one day this week and come Monday, everything will be in full swing and back to “normal”.

(Grade 7)

HIGH SCHOOL(!)

(Grade 5)

They now go to school clad with masks, soaked in hand sanitizer, and with a bunch of new rules and protocols for how their days will look. It all just feels like a LOT. And also like maybe we are sending them into a monsoon with a tiny little umbrella saying, “Here. Hope this helps!”

Covid-19 cases in our area are presently very low, but across the province they are continuing to rise. I feel like my subconscious mind is working overtime, and I’ve been waking up with a headache every day this week. I am itching to get back into routine, to start taking better care of myself again, being tackling some projects around the house, etc. But I’m also just SO EXHAUSTED. And worried that this whole Back To School thing is only going to last ten days and then everyone will be home again. And then the stress cycle inside of me just keeps on whirring.

How are you handling the back to school experience this year? Feeling good in your choices and what your schools have set up? Or are you feeling like there’s a hairball lodged in your throat as you bravely wave good-bye to your kids?

The whole “all we have is today, the right here, right now” message is what I keep returning to when the anxiety hits. Because it’s always been true, but sometimes I forget.

(One could argue that seeing little kindergarten kids going back to school in masks is excruciatingly extraordinary, but the sentiment still rings true for me.)

Take care, everyone.