So I was at Homeside Video last night, about to pay for my video rental when the clerk looks at the computer and says “Oh, you’ve got a late charge.”
No biggie, I think. “How much is it?” I casually ask.
She replies, “Fifteen dollars.”
Excuse me? Fifteen bones?! For what? I was sure I had returned my last movie within a reasonable time period. I told her that I didn’t remember being that late with my rental. Then she squints at her screen and says, “Ahhhh, your movie wasn’t actually late…I have it on record that it was damaged. From heat. Yeah, see how we’ve got this shrivelled shell of a VHS stuck on the wall with duct tape here as an example of what retards do to their movies? To make a mockery of the fool who would leave her VHS somewhere where it could be exposed to extreme temperatures. Yeah, that’s your movie. Pay up, fatso.”
So I coughed up the change and ran out of the store, not before I asked the clerk if she could please untape my mutilated VHS from the wall.

Today’s lesson: don’t leave VHS tapes in your car at work all day long.
Check.