I have been on a journey, and it has taken me so much longer than I ever thought it would. But the first step of my pilgrimage was to accept and love myself for where I was at. To not be motivated by anything but simply wanting the best for myself. And to then take the first step.
My body has such a story to tell: it’s a winding tale that dips into childhood obesity, teenaged anorexia, a decade of silent disordered eating, a body stretched to its limits thrice over through pregnancies, and, finally, a slow and steady crawl towards mindful eating, exercise for enjoyment, and learning to love and trust my body all over again.
This photo was taken almost six years ago. I was a few months post-partum after giving birth to our third daughter and I was weary. A friend of mine had started teaching a fitness class and encouraged me to go. I figured I would go and sweat for a few months, ram myself back into my pre-pregnancy jeans and call it a day. Little did I know, attending those classes would be the first steps on a lifelong journey of health and wellness.
Part of me cringes when I see this photo, but most of me is just in awe of how far I have come, and how this tired momma made a choice to change her path, one baby step at a time. For the record, I didn’t hate my body in the image above. I accepted myself for where I was at and that was the key to it all. As I began exercising regularly, I noticed an increase in my energy, in my self-esteem, in my drive to succeed that began to seep into other areas of my life.
It was a slow, trickling progression, as far as body changes go, but I kept at it. And this is me now. Far from perfect, but so much stronger and more comfortable in my own skin.
For anyone out there who is feeling tired, or stuck where they’d rather not be, I hope this can remind you that right now, you are worthy of love, just for who you are and where you’re at, and that you are also worthy of taking the first step in the direction you want to go.
It might take a LONG time, but the journey is worth it, and so are you.
6 Comments
You already know this but I love this and you more than I could ever possibly put into words. I’m so thankful for you and the beautiful journey you are on. I just love you!
Big hug my friend! You have come a long way, not just physically (though there’s no missing the transformation) but emotionally.
The gift you’re giving your girls my modelling an active lifestyle and healthy eating choices will only serve to encourage them in their futures! While we can’t stop the whispers of insecurity for them any more than our mothers could for us, we can do our best each day to be the example of what we hope for them to become.
You are, in this journey and in life a beautiful example to your precious girls!
This is awesome. I went through this in 2013 and I’m still going through it now. It never ends. I dropped 83 pounds. The next fun is finding new challenges. I think you look phenomenal. But more than that, you look HAPPY. Your smile looks so much more genuine and energetic. Way to go. Keep going, it continues to be rewarding all of these years later. PS I love love love those bathing suit bottoms, how do I get them?
Good for you! That’s an amazing transformation! My bathing suit bottoms are from Seafolly. Love the cut of their suits!
Thanks, Ashley! I know our paths have had many parallel experiences, and it feels so good to be walking in the right direction together!
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