Re-entry blows. I had lots of fun at BlogHer but was ready and excited to come home and see my family again. However, this week has been a really challenging and frustrating one and I’m wondering how much of the stress I’ve been feeling has come as a result of spending time away in a completely different world, then being jarred back to reality. Not that I didn’t want my reality back, but it’s just been more of an adjustment than I expected it to be.
Avelyn has seemed extra whiney, her attitude horrendous. Brinley is pushing four teeth through and had her immunizations so she’s been a hot, clingy mess. And Karenna…well, she continues to push me to the brink with her non-stop tantrums and irrational behavior.
I am going back to work in the fall so I am feeling this hanging thought, “These are your last few weeks as a stay-at-home-mom so you had better make them magical and just savour the beauty of them.” And then I feel guilty for being so annoyed with the kids, wondering why I can’t do a better job of finding contentment in their company.
I have also been grappling with how much time I spend online. Although I don’t write on my personal  blog as much as I did years ago, I still have my face basking in the glow of the laptop for many hours each day, perusing Facebook and Twitter, writing on other sites, responding to emails, etc. and I am just becoming really aware of how the online world, as swell as it is, is rarely (of course there are some exceptions) where I find truly deep connections, and that I need to make my real life and the people in it the priority. So what do I do? Blow up my blog? Quit Facebook? I don’t think these are the answers right now, but I am just asking some big questions and it feels a little strange.
Anyways, that’s what’s going on. My kids are driving me nuts, I’m feeling guilty about the fact that they’re driving me nuts, and I might quit the internet.
Oh, and my baby is walking.
12 Comments
Delurking to say that I completely feel you on this one. According to Facebook, I have lots of friends. But according to me, I hear from people less than ever and have never felt this lonely in my life. And apparently all but two of my friends think “liking†that I got married is an appropriate substitute for a card or even a congratulatory phone call. And I know of one friend who was dumped as an email friend because “you can just communicate through Facebook and Twitter.†Yes, because I always put up personal events in my life and crises I’m having on Facebook. What a great way to have intimate friendships.
It was those two events that were a turning point and I really soured on Facebook. But quit it? I don’t know about that, either. I see the value in it. But I’m spending a lot less time on it these days, though, and I’m happier for it. For me, I think the solution is working hard to forge personal connections again, be on the computer way less and quit communicating with those I love most through likes and wall posts.
The kids say “go baby girl, go!!”
Sending you peace in your crisis.
do they ever not drive us crazy? Just wondering on that one…
YAY BRINLEY!!! So freaking adorable.
I’m with ya. I’m finding my online time to mean less and less to me and goodness, what is with the middle child? Liliana is the one that pushes me to the brink of insanity. I have made some great, deep connections online, but I know that if I blew up my blog and Facebook, those connections would still be there. So. Um. I have no advice. Yay!
My eldest starts Kindergarten in a little over a week and I was just thinking after returning from our vacation I need to make these last two weeks wonderful, but the kids are constantly fighting and I seem to be constantly yelling, not the picture perfect end to summer I was expecting- right there with you. To balance Internet, which is my weakness when the kids are driving me crazy is, i have been waking up a bit earlier every morning and give myself X amount of time and try to only be one for that time, doesn’t always work! good luck with whatever works for you!
My husband is a teacher and is going back to work in a few weeks and all I can think is, “Please take me with you!” I love my kids, but they’re challenging!
I find that a change in routine always results in beastly kids for a day or two (or more!). It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s a fun change or a not so fun change. I work part-time and have two kids and it’s an interesting balance, some weeks I desperately wish I could quit while other weeks full-time sounds awesome.
Good luck!
My fourth year returning from BlogHer and I can tell you that it’s par for the course to feel out of your groove. We’ve been home for five days now and I still don;t feel quite right. :)
As for the online stuff, I think you have to choose what you want to spend your time on. I only have so much time a day (as do you) and that’s why I suck at Facebook. I’d rather read and write and edit photos, and then see my real life friends at the beach or at Wednesday lunches. :)
Also? I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S WALKING. I can’t wait to see it in person this weekend.
Amanda,
As someone who has been there (with toning down the amount of time spent online that is) I would recommend a slow withdrawal. Pick one thing (my vote would be facebook or twitter because I’m selfish and I want to keep reading your blog!) and remove yourself from it. After a period of time you will probably find that you do not miss it at all. And then it will be easier to disengage from the next thing, if you still want to, until you find yourself at a happy level of internet involvement.
And Brinley is the CUTEST!
Love Danica
I work full time, so I get the mom guilt. I find that, as the cliche says, working makes me a better mom. In the summer when I am off I tend to get frustrated faster than I do during the year. And I love the idea that my girls are watching me be a strong, independent female. I like to watch them play “going to work”.
That baby girl of yours is so lovely! :)
I say – take a breath! It’s been such a long bunch of months for you with chaos, it’s also the end of summer heading into the routine of fall and you just need a few weeks to not have to “know” anything. Don’t make any big decisions for a little bit, just buy some earplugs, drink a latte and pretend the 2 year old spazzing out about absolutely nothing is totally someone else’s kid. That’s what I’m planning on doing! :)
I can really relate to feeling a little guilty about the “not quite content” feeling of being home all day, everyday with your kids. Also…if not careful I can catch myself spending way too much time online. Hope you find your balance soon.
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