Today I was chatting with Christy about poop. It’s a disturbingly common occurance as we now compare notes about the state of our children’s bowel movements, and we also have a better than necessary understanding of our respective husbands’ pooping tendencies.
Poop. It’s what’s for dinner.
Anyways, we were gabbing about turd and Christy was bragging about one of Olivia’s blowouts where she sprayed Christy with a fresh stream of dijon delight while being changed. I scoffed, “Avelyn has never done that to me. Sometimes the poop has seeped out of the back of her diaper, but only when we’re in public and there’s no place convenient to change her. But yeah, I am so lucky that my kid isn’t one of those wack jobs whose anus fires off the goods like a fire hose. Now, give me some of your Christmas baking. I’m wasting away over here!”
Cue to early this evening when Avelyn was resting on Steve’s lap and he felt something warm spreading on the front of his shirt. Yep. Total poop smear. Steve was grossed out and I took Avelyn to her change table to deal with the dirty. I wiped her down (it was a six wipe mess, for the record) and as I was reaching for a fresh diaper I hear a little toot come from her flapping cheeks. No biggie. Just a li’l fart. My girl’s not a sprayer.
Then I heard the distinctive splat of liquid poo spraying all over her change pad. Another six wipes later and the mess was somewhat contained.
My girl, she is a sprayer. Please update your records accordingly.
13 Comments
Glad to have that update; it was just the other night, I decided to do a “quick” change of my beautiful granddaughter sans diaper pad on my own freshly changed sheets! Thank goodness for those beautiful blue eyes & endearing smile!!!!
I love it that these facts have been published for her to enjoy as she grows old. You really should publish your stories…not only for her, but for all mothers, or for anyone for that matter–I don’t have kids yet and you never fail to drag the giggles out.
Amanda,
i love reading your blog! Just 4 the record, i’ve been eating a Terry’s Choc orange over the past two evenings. Now i have world shaking smelly gas. So, if u ever need to get back at Steve–u know what to do.
Don’t faint: i also up-dated my blog. Fernando made me do it!
That is such an adorable picture. Only baby poo could be so funny eh?
I can’t hardly type I am laughing so hard. Amanda that is so funny. I could tell you stories about my two when they were babies. But since Ashley is your friend I won’t embarass her and my son would kill me if he caught on I passed on information.
Hey question for you. I am making diapers for Ashley. How many diapers do you go through a day? Can ya email me? Tanks!
Hugs to you and Steve and Avelyn for a very Merry Christmas!!!
Hugs
Jackie (Ashley’s Mom)
The boys were sprayers. Emily hasn’t YET, but she knows how to seep out of her diaper.
Poop stories never get old :)
So far, Lauren’s not a ‘sprayer’ either, but Now that I’ve said it….
I love that picture. Avelyn is so sweet, even if she is a sprayer.
Abby was never a sprayer. Thank goodness ‘cuz dat soundz sik!
You, yourself, were never a sprayer. You were a treader. For the uninitiated, in the days of Snugglis (aka hippie bags), you would fill your bag so full of liquid fecal matter, that you had to tread water(?) to keep from drowning.
Oh my lord…that is hysterical. And SO true; I learned the hard way not to say stuff like “Oh, he NEVER spits up!” Because as soon as the opportunity presents itself (i.e., you are tossing your child in the air and you have freshly-washed hair)…I think you know what will happen.
So so so funny! And the story got even better with “grandpa’s” comment!!
Amanda…You are HILARIOUS. Love your sense of humor. Very cute post. You and your family have a very Merry Christmas!
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