This morning I met a friend at a local coffee shop for a little visit. We brought our kids and between the two of us there are four children aged two weeks, (almost) 18 months, just over two years old, and three years old. They all love playing together but there are some inevitable fights and fits that break out every time they’re in the same place. Avelyn likes to throw her weight around and seeing an 18 month-old toddler teetering towards her is just too tempting at times and she will push him, or chest bump him, or taunt him with a toy. The little boy is very resilient, as most second siblings are (his big sister keeps him in line), and is quick to forgive Avelyn for her antagonistic antics, but today she took it to a whole new level. We were sitting on the back patio of the coffee shop and I watched as an event took place in what seemed like slow motion: Avelyn dragged a huge, plastic patio chair away from a vacant table, hoisted it up and threw it at the unsuspecting little boy. I felt like an audience member on the Jerry Springer show. Except I couldn’t just watch, I had to break up the fight and act like one of the burly body guards. Seriously. KIDS. Well, maybe just a particular kid: mine. Sorry for the WWF-esque morning, Tamara.
Aside from assaulting a toddler, Avelyn has been reacting quite well to the shift in her world since becoming a big sister. She loves holding baby Jolie and is always asking about her and bringing her a blanket and helping me feed her. It’s been great. The one thing that’s been hard is that Avelyn has started waking up in the middle of the night again. This is beyond frustrating as I am already sleep deprived enough tending to one baby who needs me in the night. The problem started last week when we removed the air conditioner from her bedroom; I think she had grown accustomed to having that loud white noise and it helped her sleep. I know for us, when we take out our A/C unit it takes me a good week to get used to hearing Steve’s heavy breathing and occasional snore. I miss the white noise too. The first two nights she woke up around 4 am I just staggered in and gave her a bottle, not ready to deal with any issues. But then I decided that if it happened again I could NOT give her a bottle. We are over that, she doesn’t need it, and I don’t want to start a bad habit again. So for the past three nights she has woken up around 2 am I have gone to her room, taken her out of the crib and cuddled with her on the couch for about five minutes, then I put her back to bed. No bottle. And she’s fine with that. I don’t know if she is just having a harder time than I realize adjusting to the changes in her life and she needs the reassurance that yes, I still love her and will be there for her. Or, if she’s just trying to work the system and steal some unnecessary cuddles from her bedraggled mother in the middle of the night. I am prepared to get up with her for maybe another week, but then I fear we might have to let her cry it out or something. I don’t know. Anyone else go through this sort of thing once the second sibling came along? (And just for the record, she’s not waking up because she hears the baby cry. It happens at totally random times when it’s quiet, so I don’t know what the deal is.)
And in weight loss news, I am happy to report that while I still have a good 20 lbs to lose before I’ll be able to button up my skinny jeans, I weigh as much now, at two weeks post partum, as I did at nine months post partum with Avelyn. I have been ravenous and eating whatever I feel like, but I guess the milk production is burning some serious calories for me. (Of course, now that I’ve blogged about it, I will invariably gain 8 pounds tomorrow.)
My mom flew home this morning so I am officially on my own during the days. So far, five hours in, I’m OK. Stay tuned for my not-so gradual undoing. Hopefully not, but I know there are some hard days ahead as I forge this road alone.
Well, it’s time to hook myself up to the pump and drain these anvils. Don’t picture it.
*Updated to add:Â We have had a white noise machine running for the past three nights and still, she wakes up.
15 Comments
Do you think it would help Avelyn if you got her a white noise machine for her room? If it IS just the loss of the AC unit, it might make all the difference…
NEED MORE BABY PICTURES!!! ;)
I agree, a white noise machine could do wonders. Miss 15 sleeps with a fan going in her room all the time, as does Miss 10. In fact when Miss 15 was about a year old we wore out a vacuum running it in her room during naps. Bad parents! But, she slept, and I got the house picked up, the big brother played with and supper started; it was worth the trade off. Good luck!
could you put a fan in her room? you can get a small one for under $20 and just clip it on her crib, facing away from her so she’s not sleeping in a breeze.
my 30-year old husband has trouble sleeping when we’re not at home because he doesn’t have his fan. seriously. it’s not even about cooling the room down – it’s solely used for the soothing noise it creates.
I’m going to have to agree with everyone else and say try out a small fan. If that is the problem at least its an easy fix right? As far as adjusting to another baby I’m not sure but I do know that my two year old woke up every night needing love and comfort when her dad moved out. But look on the bright side now you can totally blame the lack of sleep for her WWF actions. :P
I had a toddler much like yours. She was also a BITER. She turned out to be a very pleasant 7-year-old so there’s hope!
Congratulations on your baby girl!!!
My three and a half year old still wakes up in the night on occasion, sometimes every night and cries. I finally just started ignoring him and that’s what works the best. It think it becomes a habit for them, I think he’s also not quite awake when he cries and if I go in it sometimes makes it worse.
nursing note: breast feeding moms need between 2500-2800 calories per day and lots and lots and LOTS of water! So if you feel guilty eating more than you think is okay, fear not! you’re allowed!! Eat a-plenty!
Ben is FINE! I know how bad it feels when your kid hurts someone but he really is totally fine. It was very dramatic with the chair and all but he hurts himself worse on a daily basis just toddling around.
aaaahhhhh! We also are just losing the ac and I am lost without the grey noise! What is the grey noise thing you have now, where did you get it? I was sure that was the key to her waking up?! Boo.
It is my experience that when the kids are going through any life change or development that they start waking in the night, white noise or not. It doesn’t last long and generally isn’t a permanent shift in behavior, but it can feel daunting at 2am. If she seems to be going back to bed well after a short snuggle, that’s awesome. I usually explain to the boys that it is time for sleep and put them back, and the response is either acceptance or a short crying jag then silence. Every once in a while we have to get up for an hour while kiddo plays and I sleep on the couch, then do the same thing. I’m sure you are cross-eyed and delirious, but you are making the right choices. (I mean, it seems that way to me. I’m far from expert…)
Love the title of this post. hahaha! Oh Avelyn. Give momma a break, she’s still recouperating. ;)
You’re probably right about the two options… sneaking in cuddles while she can, AND making sure you still love her and will be there for her. It’s probably both!! Surely, well, hopefully, she will outgrow it and stop soon enough!
As far as the unravelling going, when I had my third, I was literally hanging on my husbands leg begging him not to go back to work after his week or so off…. it was an unpretty scene. So, I feel for you, being left on your own!! :)
Our white noise is a cool mist humidifier. It’s good for the skin and it makes just enough noise to keep us all happy. :)
Bless your heart on the sleep deprivation. I definitely DON”T miss those days, but I miss having a newborn to snuggle. Bay is 6 months today — how time flies!
Sounds like Avelyn just needs some reassurance… and I’m sure it’ll end soon. I know that doesn’t help you right now, though. :)
Hang in there. You have two precious babies!
I remember my 2yr old started waking up at random times after a new baby, after a move, etc. Sometimes we ended up putting a baby gate up on our room so he wouldn’t wander into our room and keep waking us up…he eventually realized he couldn’t come in and gave that up. Definitely a stage…I would say that you are doing the right thing, but then need to wean her off the cuddles and let her fall back to sleep or it will carry on and only get worse. Good luck!
Jerry is a heroin user; his addiction has destroyed everything that was once important to him. Toddler
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