I’m done.
Five months ago I started Weight Watchers and in the the first three months I lost 15 pounds. I felt great, I was learning the proper way to fuel my body, I was eating healthily, and I was experiencing success. In the last two months, however, my weight had plateaued and I had been rather half-heartedly following the Weight Watchers plan. I still wanted to lose another 5-10 pounds but my body was fighting me every step of the way. I found my mind was becoming more focused than I’d like on the scale and the food I was eating or wishing I was eating. I have a history of disordered eating and found some of those old destructive thought patterns trying to creep back in. And I refuse to go back to that place: totally focused on my weight, starving myself and then making up for it with a couple dozen cookies, weighing myself every morning and allowing the scale to determine the quality of my day. I am not going to live like that ever again.
Don’t fret, I wasn’t experiencing any of those extreme behaviors but I just sensed that I was starting to want to slip back into that same mindset, the one that told me, “Just five more pounds, then you’ll be happy.” That’s a lie I believed when I was in my teens and it messed me up real good.
So, where does that leave me? I am encouraged to see that in the past two months, even though I wasn’t following Weight Watchers flawlessly, I maintained my 15 pound weight loss. I feel like I now have the knowledge and tools to eat in a more balanced fashion and continue to maintain the weight I’m at. I want to return to intuitive eating, where I listen to my body’s hunger and fullness cues, but take what I’ve learned and realize that sometimes my body wants things that aren’t always ideal, so I need to take steps to ensure I’m feeding it a variety of healthful foods. Practically speaking, this means no ranch dressing dip for my pizza and no McChicken sauce for my fries. Even typing that now makes me kind of cringe that I used to always soak my already fatty foods in oily condiments. This is PROGRESS, people!
 I have also been trying to make exercise more of a habit and not look at it simply as a means to weight loss, but rather something that energizes me, makes me feel great, and is good for my body.
Lately I’ve been doing some thinking and reading about body image and weight issues and how to raise a daughter in a society that is so focused on image. I want to teach Avelyn that her worth is not determined by her weight. I want to teach her to love her body and treat it with respect and enjoy it for its capabilities. I want to teach her that food is something to be enjoyed, not feared or obsessed over, and show her how to live a balanced life.
And in order to teach her all these things, I need to first know them myself.
28 Comments
I’m proud of you Amanda. For having goals and for working hard. For knowing who you’ve been and who you are. For choosing to be healthy, and to live a balanced life for yourself and for Avelyn. I love you and I am so proud of you.
Very well said. I’m so proud of the progress you made Manda. Your attitude and body are showing the signs of the healthy changes you’ve made. I knew you could do it.
Wee said, my friend. You look amazing and have gotten your body issues figured out.
I am so very proud of you!
YES, very well said!
And you know what, I thought you looked fantastic when you hit the 10 pound mark.
The moderation and balance you’ve discovered is so valuable — as you said — for both you and Avelyn.
GOOD WORK :)
And to that I sing …
hallelujah, baby!
What a wonderful place in which to find yourself dwelling.
Hooray for you! Sounds like you’ve over come hurdles that far exceed just what the scale says. It’s difficult as a Mom with a daughter face todays “Never Thin Enough” world trying to decide how to teach them that they are “ALWAYS Good Enough”. Especially when we ourselves are having those negative thoughts. Thank you for sharing your journey and being an encouragement to the rest of us.
Congratulations on it all…the weight lose, the new found confidence and the positive attitude.
very true! thanks for the reminder, we all need a reminder from time to time. yours has come at a perfect time for me. thankyou
That was such a great post. You definitely have the right attitude and I believe that is what matters most. I’ve also been trying to be better about the foods that I put in my body and you inspire me to keep going. Good luck to you as you continue your journey.
For those of you that are unable to see Amanda face-to-face, I can testify that she looks fabulous – but more importantly we’re proud of your discipline, determination & great approach you took to shed those pounds. It wasn’t easy I’m sure, but anything worthwhile rarely is. You are & will continue to be a wonderful example to our sweet Avelyn. Good on you girl!
I think it’s something most women struggle with. I admire your committment to the program and keeping the weight off. I think your attitude about it now is exactly what Avelyn should hear as she gets older. What a good mom you are!
Thanks for talking about this, its an issue close to my heart now that I am raising my own daughter. She’s only 16 months old but I too have been struggling to find that healthy balance in my own life. Its taken a few months but now I am really enjoying my time at the gym and I always look forward to picking Amy up at the creche because she is settled and happy there whilst I work out. I am still finding it hard to get the eating right, all too often I fuss over a meal for her and all the other things a busy mum does and realise a handful of biscuits eaten standing up do not constitute a healthy meal! I am going to really focus on this now because I completely agree, it has to start with me! Your attitude and insight are inspirational! (Not to mention how great you look in your photos!!)
Good for you, Amanda. Good luck and best wishes as you continue to live healthily.
When my 8-year old said “I’m fat,” I cried a little inside. I am guilty of having a bad body image and I have had to make an effort not to do it anymore, and to tell my other two older daughters not to do it either. It’s sad that you’re sometimes judged on your dress size and not your IQ.
Amen!
I could have written this (not as well, of course), but these have been my thoughts.
Mike and I want to have a baby. Soon-ish. And every time I think about a baby, I think about having a boy. It scares me that even though I’ve made HUGE strides in my quest for a happy and healthy view of myself, I’ll still impart something on to my daughter. And I know that my daughter, hypothetical or not, deserves better than that. So even though I think about having a boy, I’m working through my stuff, DAILY, so if it’s a girl we one day have, I’ll never have to apologize to her (let me rephrase, never have to apologize for her body image).
You are a perfect mother. And Avelyn is so lucky to have you as a friend and example.
[…] amanda wrote an interesting post today on Not So PointyHere’s a quick excerptI have also been trying to make exercise more of a habit and not look at it simply as a means to weight loss, but rather something that energizes me, makes me feel great, and is good for my body. Lately I’ve been doing some thinking and … […]
[…] I want to teach Avelyn that her worth is not determined by her weight. …article continues at amanda brought to you by diet.medtrials.info and […]
[…] amanda wrote an interesting post today on Not So PointyHere’s a quick excerptI am encouraged to see that in the past two months, even though I wasn’t following Weight Watchers flawlessly, I maintained my 15 pound weight loss. I feel like I now have the knowledge and tools to eat in a more balanced fashion and … […]
I really like what Dove is doing for girls self esteem. They’re videos are great, especially this one:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/dsef07/t5.aspx?id=7373&filmno=0
Their. I meant their.
WOW! Thank you so much for sharing this post. As with many others, I am stuck in the food “battle” right now.
You have done such a great thing for yourself and for Avelyn by making some healthy choices when it comes to eating and exercising, but knowing yourself well enough to quit before you head down an old familiar path. As a graduate of many years of negative body image and borderline disorder behaviors I know what a fine line that can be.
You look great and should be so proud of yourself!
[…] amanda placed an interesting blog post on Not So Pointy.Here’s a brief overview:I am encouraged to see that in the past two months, even though I wasn’t following Weight Watchers flawlessly, I maintained my 15 pound weight loss. I feel like I now have the knowledge and tools to eat in a more balanced fashion and … […]
I did Weight Watchers a few months ago and like you, plateaud at around 15 pounds. I eventually decided to stop counting points religiously and just try and maintain what I had lost. It’s been… mostly successful. I have gained back a few pounds, but not so many that I want to start dieting again. I figure my body’s just reached the place where it needs to be, and that’s good enough for me.
Congrats on your succes, both on the scale and off. You do look amazing, it has something to do with the smile :)
sounds like you’ve reached your body’s healthy weight – I know I can’t drop below a certain point without being obsessed with what I eat and do and it’s not worth that. So congrats on what you’ve achieved and yeah you! (Ranch dressing on pizza sounds so good).
You are still my hero, I think you look amazing and the knowledge you have will last a lifetime. My mom has bought me Weight Watchers for a few months once I have the baby to help me get back to my goal. I am so excited for next fall.
YES.
Awesome awesome amazing post. You nailed it, Amanda. I am emailing this post to all of my friends with daughters. Nothing else to say except I LOVE YOU.
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